| D-PAD [v.] | Downloading Porn All Day. When an employee has nothing to do. “Now that the project is finished, I’m looking forward to a little D-PAD.” Suggested by minorfall. |
| Daily driver [n.] | Functional, reliable equipment for day-to-day productivity. “The touchscreen is cute, but it’s not going replace my daily driver.” |
| Data-point [n.] | An area of factual inquiry. Suggested by Joe O. |
| De-integrate [v.] | To disassemble. “We’re going to have to de-integrate the entire assembly and start from scratch.” |
| De-layering [v.] | An excuse to fire multiple levels of a hierarchy without reducing the total workload. (see also, Empowerment) Suggested by Jane W. |
| De-tune [v.] | To minimize in style or message. Synonym: tone-down. “You really need to de-tune those hideous slides.” Suggested by Natalie R. |
| Dead stick [adj.] | Describes a project that has lost momentum. This is an aviation term used when a plane is on the verge of losing control. Suggested by Derrick. |
| Dead Tree Edition [n.] | Printed version of a document or presentation. “We already have it in PDF, why do we need the dead tree edition?” Suggested by Primus |
| Dead wood [n.] | An employee that no longer contributes anything meaningful to an organization. |
| Deceptionist [n.] | A receptionist whose job is actually to delay or block potential visitors. Ruthless with a polite, perfect smile. |
| Decision sniper [n.] | The person that sits quietly in a meeting until just before a decision is reached, then raises a question that forces the group to reconvene later. Suggested by Brian W. |
| Deck [n.] | A PowerPoint slide presentation. “Clean up those slides before you even think about running that deck again.” Suggested by Gomo. |
| Decruit [v.] | A clever euphemism for firing senior employees. “The board is pushing for decruitment.” Suggested by Amanda G. |
| Deep dive [n.] | An in-depth study or presentation. |
| Deep pockets [n.] | Rich investors. “We need a few more deep pockets on board before we move forward.” |
| Deep six [exp.] | A borrowed military term meaning ‘to dispose of.’ |
| Deferred success [n.] | A term used to postpone the declaration of failure, as if a positive result is guaranteed (just not right now). “The project was a deferred success; we’re confident that things will pick up in the next quarter.” Suggested by Aidan. |
| Dehire [v.] | To fire. |
| Deja moo [exp.] | The nagging feeling that you’ve heard this BS before. |
| Delagatorship [n.] | A business entity run by someone incapable of decision-making. Suggested by Matt F. |
| Deliver the goods [v.] | To come through on an agreement. |
| Delta [n.] | Pretty much the coolest way to speak about a change or difference. “We’re talking about a 2% delta on the cap rate.” Suggested by Cash M. |
| Deploy [v.] | Execute; release to the public. Makes the speaker feel like he’s planning D-Day instead of some insipid PR launch. Suggested by Irene G. |
| Descope [v.] | The art of removing requirements or features from a project to make it appear completed. “The web deliverable was descoped yesterday and victory was declared.” Suggested by JCSmith. |
| Deselect [v.] | To fire or lay-off. “We need to deselect five people from your department to meet cost targets this year.” Suggested by Don. |
| Desk dive [n.] | The painful crawl underneath your desk to unplug equipment or fetch a dropped item. Suggested by Jessica. |
| Desk jockey [exp.] | An office worker. |
| Deskfast [n.] | Breakfast eaten at your desk. |
| Diagonal slice meeting [n.] | A large meeting involving staff from several teams. Try not to think about costs as 26 people discuss their feelings.
Suggested by Henry H. |
| Dial and smile [n.] | Phone calls intended to recruit new customers. |
| Dial-in [v.] | A simply terrible way to say ‘include’. “Let me dial-in marketing on this one.” |
| Dialogue [v.] | To have a conversation. “Let’s dialogue later about the Miller account.” |
| Dialogue marketing [n.] | A marketing strategy that tries to create a two-way rapport with the customer. |
| Diarize [v.] | To ensure that all relevant details are recorded. “Don’t pack up until these learnings are diarized.” Suggested by Lesley. |
| Diary forward [v.] | To record new knowledge and apply it in the future. “Managers will conduct a 15 minute walkdown each day and diary forward to cover all shifts.” Suggested by Rob A. |
| Die on the hill [v.] | To over-commit. “The client’s pushing for a Friday go-live? No thanks. I’m not dying on that hill.” Suggested by Renee |
| Different breed [adj.] | A derogatory reference to a strange person or thing. “Night shift servermonkeys really are a different breed.” |
| Digerati [n.] | An elite group of people that know more about computers than you ever will. |
| Dime store [n.] | A business that sells extremely cheap items. |
| DINK [n.] | Double Income, No Kids. |
| Dinosaur [n.] | A long-term company employee whose extensive experience is only surpassed by his resistance to change. Suggested by Aaron D. |
| Dip your pen in company ink [v.] | Having sexual relations with a coworker. Suggested by Brad. |
| Directionally accurate [adj.] | A terrible euphemism for describing a failed guess. “You have to admit that our conclusion was at least directionally accurate.” Suggested by ACP. |
| Dirty laundry [n.] | Questionable business practices or documents that an organization would prefer to remain secret. |
| Dirty pool [exp.] | Unethical practices. “Her lawyers are really playing dirty pool on this one.” |
| Disambiguate [v.] | An ironic 5-syllable word used in place of ‘clarify.’ |
| Disconnect [n.] | An inconsistency or problem. Another terrible noun created from a perfectly good verb. |
| Disimpress [v.] | To reverse a favorable impression with subsequent behavior. “We liked him at the first interview, but he really disimpressed us in the second round.” Suggested by Jason I. |
| Disincentivize [v.] | To reduce the motivation to make a particular choice. Please, just never say this word. |
| Disintermediate [v.] | The process of removing the middle man. Lord help us. |
| DK [n.] | Short for Don’t Know. To renege on a deal by claiming that terms are missing or incorrect. “Joan DK’ed me when her options took a bath.” Suggested by Papa |
| Do the needful [exp.] | A reminder to actually do the work you’re being paid for. “…and if that means coming in Sunday, we’re going to do the needful.” Suggested by Michael W. |
| Doability [adj.] | Used to describe whether an activity can be undertaken. “I need to confirm the doability of that request.” Suggested by Beneboy |
| Dog [n.] | A badly performing product or company. |
| Dog and pony show [n.] | An overlay staged presentation that has more style than substance. |
| Dog in this fight [n.] | Presence in a given market. “Find out what the competition is up to, and make damn sure we get a dog in this fight.” Suggested by Jack. |
| Dogfooding [v.] | The practice of forcing developers to use their own product (or ‘eat their own dog food’) to better understand the customer experience. Suggested by Programmer Type. |
| Doingness [n.] | An invented, pseudo-eastern concept of active participation. The kind of word that whole consulting empires are built around. |
| DOMA [exp.] | Die Or Move Away. One way to lose customers. |
| DOMO [exp.] | DOwnwardly MObile. A young person who changes their priorities and quits a high paying, demanding position. |
| Don't f*** with payroll [exp.] | Blunt advice about avoiding romantic or sexual relationships with co-workers. Suggested by Max |
| Don't fight the tape [exp.] | Don’t oppose the market trend. |
| Don't get your meat where you make your bread [exp.] | A food metaphor about the perils of hooking up with coworkers. Suggested by Jason F. |
| Donkey work [n.] | Mundane tasks requiring minimal skill to complete. “I’m so done with this donkey work. Internships are the worst.” |
| Dopeler effect [exp.] | The principle that stupid ideas sound better when they come at you quickly. |
| Double dip [v.] | To retire, but then start another career. |
| Double-time [exp.] | A military term meaning to act quickly. “Get that invoice out double-time!” |
| Dovetail [v.] | To expand upon a fellow employee’s idea. Claiming it as your own is optional. “That dovetails nicely into my point.” Suggested by Johnny P. |
| Down and dirty [adj.] | To perform a task quickly without considering quality. |
| Down the rabbit hole [exp.] | A promise that what follows will be compelling, highly-detailed, and maybe a little crazy. “Let’s double-click this icon and head straight down the rabbit hole.” Suggested by Jon E. |
| Downsize [v.] | To reduce the size of a workforce. Often begins with requests for voluntary resignations and ends with a series of layoffs. |
| Drill down [v.] | To investigate thoroughly. “Let’s meet this afternoon and drill down on this one.” |
| Drink from the firehose [v.] | To be overwhelmed with information. Suggested by Crazy Renee. |
| Drink the Kool-aid [v.] | To accept company policy without question. |
| Drive beyond the headlights [v.] | To get ahead of oneself. “Stop me if I’m driving beyond the headlights here, but I want to share an amazing home-based business with you.” Suggested by Crazy Renee. |
| Drop-dead date [n.] | The REAL deadline. Missing it often means dire consequences. |
| Dropping packets [v.] | A state of forgetfulness caused by burnout or lack of sleep. “You hungover again? You’ve been dropping packets all morning…” Suggested by David M. |
| Dub-dub-dub [n.] | A quicker (and nerdier) way to refer to the beginning of a website address. “You have to check out dub-dub-dub dot…” Suggested by Chandra C. |
| Duck shove [n.] | The act of passing a difficult question or task to an unsuspecting third party. “I duck shoved that paperwork over to Jonathon.” |
| Duck shuffler [n.] | Someone who disrupts your affairs after you’ve finally gotten all your ‘ducks in a row.’ |
| Ducks in a row [exp.] | To become organized. |
| Due diligence [n.] | The thoroughness required to make good business decisions. Suggested by Pulkit B. |
