| Sacred cow [n.] | A program or product that may be unprofitable, but cannot be questioned. |
| Sacrifice [v.] | Yet another gentle name for firing people. “We’ll have to sacrifice a few customer service positions.” |
| Safe harbor [n.] | The office bathroom. Often the only place to find a moment of peace at work. |
| Salesblazer [n.] | The main way that tech and artist types dress up their jeans-based style when meeting clients or presenting. |
| Salt mine [n.] | Menial work. |
| Sandbag [v.] | 1) An unethical attack. 2) A tactic used by salespeople where closing a sale is purposely delayed into the next month to improve their overall commission. Suggested by Ryan. |
| Sausage and the sizzle [exp.] | Used by sales when comparing substance (sausage) versus marketing spin (sizzle). “John you’ve got the sausage, but where’s the sizzle?” Suggested by Guy from Melbourne. |
| Scab [n.] | A union term for undesirables such as strikebreakers and non-union employees. |
| Scarlet letter [n.] | A symbol of shame. |
| Scooby Snacks [n.] | Token compensation. “The gift certificates they gave us instead of a Christmas bonus were total scooby snacks.” |
| Scope creep [n.] | The tendency of a project’s purpose to expand to suit the ambitions of the pushiest stakeholder. Suggested by Ellen B. |
| Screw the pooch [v.] | To avoid doing anything productive. “Are you going to sit there and screw the pooch all day?” Suggested by Natalie R. |
| Scrub [n.] | An entry-level employee. Usually replaceable. |
| Scuttlebutt [n.] | Gossip or rumors. |
| Sea legs [n.] | The point when a new arrangement becomes stable and comfortable. “We’re still establishing our freemium sea legs…” |
| Seamless [adj.] | Describes a system so well integrated that it seems like a contiguous whole. Even if it’s all held together with paperclips and chewing gum inside. Suggested by Robert S. |
| Second .coming [n.] | The re-emergence of Internet business as a viable way to make money. |
| Security theater [n.] | A very visible display of security to compensate for a true lack of it. |
| Sense check [v.] | The process of ensuring that something ‘makes sense’. “Can you sense check the second paragraph? Not sure if I’m being clear.” Suggested by Simon H. |
| Serial entrepreneur [n.] | A person who starts several (not necessarily successful) business ventures. |
| Serving suggestion [n.] | A recommended quantity (not food related). “Hit me up with a serving suggestion on the social media ad buy.” Suggested by B. Potter. |
| Shanghaied [adj.] | 1. Forced to work a job on a ship overseas. 2. Forced to watch your job as it’s shipped overseas (to China). |
| Sheep dip [n.] | A tedious corporate briefing where attendance is mandatory and recorded for all employees. Suggested by Paul K. |
| Sheep it [v.] | To follow a ridiculous company policy without complaint. Suggested by Kevin. |
| Shelfware [n.] | Purchased or developed software that is never actually used. “150 grand later and all we’ve got to show for it is a fancy piece of shelfware.” Suggested by Gordon M. |
| Shield time [n.] | The time spent in a vehicle (behind a windshield) with a coworker or boss. |
| Shirt size [n.] | The quantity of effort required to complete a task, recorded as S, M, L, etc. “Sprint kicks off tomorrow, did you clear that shirt size with the scrum master?” Suggested by Geraldo. |
| Shoot the puppy [v.] | To take an unpopular action. “We have to shrink the department, but I don’t want to be the one to shoot the puppy this time.” Suggested by Graham. |
| Shotgun approach [n.] | A wide, untargeted strategy. |
| Shoulder tap [n.] | An informal request made in passing. A good reason to avoid the boss in the elevator, hallway, kitchen, parking lot, and the bathroom. Especially the bathroom. Suggested by Fuehrer. |
| Show coach [n.] | A manager who claims to lead by example. Suggested by Thomas L. |
| Show pony [n.] | Someone who superficially presents well but lacks real depth. “The conference floor was nothing but show ponies and booth babes.” Suggested by Tony. |
| Shrink [n.] | Retail losses from shoplifters. |
| Sidebar [n.] | A whispered conversation between co-workers during a meeting or presentation. “Don’t let me interrupt your little sidebar ladies, but we have 30 more slides to get through.” Suggested by Trickyn. |
| Sideways [adv.] | The direction of failure. “If this launch goes sideways, they’ll liquidate the entire department.” |
| Signature basis [n.] | Solely based on one’s name and reputation. |
| Silo [n.] | The set of responsibilities assigned to a given employee. “I’m sorry, customer service is outside my silo.” Suggested by Lee K. |
| Silver bullet [n.] | An infallible business solution. |
| Silver ceiling [n.] | The barrier to promotion that many older employees face. |
| Simmer [v.] | To allow time for an idea to be fully considered. “Give them a week to simmer before you pull their feedback.” |
| Single pane of glass [n.] | A marketing claim that everything can be monitored and controlled from one display. “Networking perfection. On a SPOG.” Suggested by Ray B. |
| Skills ecosystem [n.] | The total collection of individual team-members’ skills, which are hoped to be mutually supportive. Suggested by Darren F. |
| Skillset [n.] | A collection of abilities, commonly matched to a set of requirements. Even more commonly embellished by job-seekers. Suggested by David. |
| Skip-level meeting [n.] | When a member of senior management meets with low-level workers directly to see who’s brave enough to ask a question (or offer dirt on their supervisors). Suggested by Kurt. |
| Skull session [n.] | A collaborative meeting to generate new ideas (a brainstorm by any other name…). “Skull session. My office. Oh-nine-hundred.” Suggested by Brendan |
| Slave trader [n.] | An affectionate term for the human resources department. Suggested by BitHacker. |
| Sledule [n.] | A project schedule that continually slides to the right due to poor planning and underestimated tasks. Suggested by Kenny B. |
| Small cap [adj.] | Insignificant or low priority. “You’re a small cap man and you think small cap.” |
| SME [n.] | Subject Matter Expert. The resident guru for a given topic. “I can’t remember how to work this damn photocopier. Who’s the SME for this machine?” Suggested by our spies at a Fortune 100. |
| Smell test [n.] | A disgusting little term for using common sense to make a quick judgment. Anyone else cringe every time you see it in print? |
| Smirting [v.] | Taking the opportunity to flirt with co-workers while huddled together for an outdoor cigarette break. Suggested by John I. |
| Socialize [v.] | To facilitate group discussions about an issue. “Let’s give them time to socialize the new material with their teams.” Suggested by Asiya. |
| Soft pedal [v.] | To give a false impression that progress is being made. “We soft pedaled the client to buy us an extra week.” |
| Soundbites [n.] | Key points delivered as a quick summary. “Stop running your mouth and just give me the soundbites.” Suggested by Ronnie I. |
| Soup to nuts [exp.] | From the start to the end of a project, in reference to the first and last courses of a formal meal. Suggested by Jonathan S. |
| Space [n.] | A really douchey way to refer to a market or industry. “We’re looking at full saturation in the tablet space by Q3.” Suggested by Corinne F. |
| Speak to [v.] | To address. “Yield the floor, sir, and I will speak to your point!” |
| Speaker-phone voice [n.] | The characteristic volume level that people feel they must use when on speaker-phone. |
| Speaks to [adj.] | 1) Evokes: “This image speaks to the bravery of the troops.” 2) Represents: “The bold font in our logo speaks to the fact that we’re bold.” Suggested by Mike T. |
| Special Projects [n.] | Tasks given to formerly favored executives that have screwed up. Lets them pretend to have a real job while looking for a new position. |
| Special sauce [n.] | Anything of a proprietary nature. |
| Spend [n.] | An amount of money paid out. “What was our total ad spend last month.” …And I’m spent. |
| Spitball [v.] | 1) To estimate. 2) To conceive an idea; brainstorm. “Let’s run through your sales deck and spitball a new angle.” |
| SPOC [n.] | Single Point Of Contact. “I’ll have my SPOC get in touch with your SPOC.” |
| Spokesweasel [n.] | A public relations agent. |
| Squeeze the sponge [v.] | To extract every last bit of knowledge that an employee gained during a company-funded training event. “Let’s review your conference notes. I want each department to sit down with you and squeeze the sponge.” Suggested by Jon F. |
| SSSD [n.] | Same Shit Same Day. Working the third shift often means leaving at 6AM and returning the same calendar day at 10PM, only to encounter the SSSD. Suggested by JC. |
| Stakeholder management [v.] | The art of acquiring enough opinions from people, groups, or leaders within a company to deflect blame if a project doesn’t meet expectations. Suggested by Laurie R. |
| Stakeholdering [v.] | The process of seeking support, approval, or clients for an upcoming project. “I spent the entire Christmas party stakeholdering upper management on my Q1 initiatives.” |
| Stall nap [n.] | A short, pants-optional sleep taken in the office bathroom. |
| Standing room only [exp.] | Where buyers are led to believe there are many others interested in an item. |
| Starter marriage [n.] | A brief first marriage ending in divorce. |
| Statistical massage [v.] | To present numbers in a way that conveys a desired message. |
| Stealth parenting [v.] | Running errands for your kids after telling your boss that you have a business obligation. |
| Stepford Worker [n.] | An employee that has bought the corporate party line completely and become an unthinking clone. |
| Stick to your knitting [v.] | 1) To focus on one’s main areas of business, often at the expense of other departments. 2) To be steadfast. |
| Stick-around [n.] | A meeting that takes place directly after another, in the same location. “We had a two hour stick-around after the project meeting yesterday.” |
| Strap-on [v.] | To try something. “Before you judge my idea, why don’t you strap it on for a while.” |
| Strategic incompetence [n.] | Feigning an inability to complete a particularly boring or demeaning task. Suggested by EC Nottus |
| Strategic planning [n.] | Pointless tautology used when the word ‘planning’ doesn’t quite sound impressive enough by itself. Suggested by Rob. |
| Stress puppy [n.] | A person who is continuously anxious and lives for any sympathy gained from complaining about it. |
| Stretch assignment [n.] | A project given to an employee that is just beyond their current skill level. Neatly avoids the cost of an actual promotion. Suggested by Robert |
| Sunset [v.] | To slowly retire a product line. “We need to sunset last year’s model over the next two months.” Suggested by Johnny P. |
| Sunshine enema [n.] | After massive layoffs, this is the spin campaign given to the remaining shell-shocked and fear-crippled employees. Suggested by Tom T. |
| Super [n.] | Supervisor, for those who are too lazy to say the whole word. |
| Surface [v.] | To raise an issue. “Don’t forget to surface your concerns with the VPs.” |
| Surplused [v.] | Yet another way to describe being fired. “We surplused a few people last week.” Good lord. |
| Swampland in Florida/Arizona [n.] | A sarcastic offer made in response to perceived gullibility or ignorance. “If you believe that, I’ve got some prime swampland in Florida to sell you…” |
| Sweat equity [n.] | An intangible asset earned by the hardworking, under-paid employees of small start-up companies. “I know I can’t exercise the options until next year, but the 80-hour weeks are building swequity.” |
| Sweat the asset [v.] | Getting the most out of your hard-working employee. “Our productivity systems ensure that you sweat the asset to the max.” Suggested by LW. |
| Sweetheart deal [n.] | An arrangement where existing clients receive more favorable terms than new clients. |
| Swim lane [n.] | 1) Field of responsibility. 2) A specific segment of a business or market. “Listen, client management just isn’t in my swim lane.” Suggested by Chad. |
| Sympvertizing [n.] | Advertising that attempts to sympathize and identify with the consumer. |
| Syndicate [v.] | To distribute a document or idea to collect feedback. “Make sure you syndicate that pitch deck to the whole cap table.” Suggested by Ian S. |
